Sorry, it's all I do

Usually these types of things are only funny if you are one of the people it is describing. Therefore, I apologize beforehand if you don't enjoy this. But I thought it was great, because it is painfully true...











You might be in med school if...

You see neurons in soap suds in your shower.

You feel like vomiting and automatically lay in the rescue position

When drinking, you and your friends think that the increase in your AST/ALT tomorrow is going to be hilarious!

You still do drugs, but at least you know what they do to you. And never fail to inform those you're doing them with.

You blame neurotransmitters for anything going wrong in your life

You can have a conversation about the abscess you drained today while eating cream of broccoli soup without any problem at all. Or for that matter, over any kind of meal.

You have named a dead person…and talked to them about your stresses while finding their lumbar plexus

You know that specialties are pre-defined by personality type.

The drama in your life now is worse than it ever was in high school.

When you go out with non-medical students, you're abnormally quiet, because you don't know what to talk about besides med school.

You can name the four people in your class who are the question-asker, the arguer, the bigshot doctor's son/daughter and the stoner/alkie/druggie who's never IN class.

You know countless dirty mnemonics for parts of the body, but couldn't tell anyone what the front-page headline today is.

Your life consists of three parts: studying, drinking, and sleeping.

You refer to the semesters you took organic chemistry as "The Good Old Days."

You consistently tell people that they just don't understand how bad it really is.

You know that, in theory, you have a family and friends, but you can't place the last time you saw them.

You don't bother dating because the divorce rate is 70% for physicians.

You constantly find yourself saying things like "I just have to get to spring break" or "I just have to get through Step 1."

You understand the complexities of the USMLE as well as internships, residencies, and fellowships.

You question every day if you should drop out and open a coffee shop, then realize that as soon as you were two semesters into med school, you were too far in debt to be anything but a doctor.

You're not really sure which professional organizations you're actually a member of, but you never joined the AMA.

People assume you know something when you tell them you're in med school, but you know that you haven't learned anything.

You've dissected a penis and can explain the way Viagra works.

People constantly ask what med school is like, and all you can think of to say is "It really sucks."

You've never had problems before, but 6 months into med school you're on birth control, an anti-depressant, an anxiolytic and sleep medication.

You can name 3 specialties you're interested in, then immediately rule two of them out because they don't pay well enough to pay off your debt.

Half your class is Asian of some sort. The other half is Jewish. All of us are completely nuts.

You can name at least three people whose parents pushed them into med school, when they really wanted to be a vet/beautician/teacher/etc.

A "study group" is you, your syllabus, and your red bull.

You assess beverages for amount of caffeine before buying only those with more caffeine than coffee. Then you explain to the cashier how caffeine works for you.

You've done physical exams on your roommate, boyfriend, girlfriend, and any close friends.

You think "AWESOME!" if someone keels over in front of you.

You're still excited to see "real patients."

You're pretty sure you used to be a normal social person, but now you can completely stop conversations by talking about the time that guy pissed and bled all over you during a code.

You speak only in acronyms and abbreviations; HIV, CMV, USMLE, Dx, Px.

You meet someone and have to put off a date for months because you're crazy busy.

Advisors tell you that you have to balance your life with med school, and then are baffled when you ask them how to do it.

You've been told by at least 2 mentors that you really don't want to go into medicine.

You've thought something like "what's another $10,000 in loans?"

You're really frightened by the thought of some of your classmates becoming doctors.

You go a week without sleeping with no problem at all.

Grey's Anatomy, House, Scrubs, Dr. 90210, Nip/Tuck and ER are your favorite shows, but you point out all the wrong things in them all the time.

You have diagnosed yourself or others with at least 5 rare diseases (PML, Kaposi's sarcoma, Measles, Rheumatic Heart Disease, etc.)

People talking to you for longer than 10 minutes start to get a glazed-over look while you wax poetic about kidney function. And you don't even notice.